I’d love to say that today felt like WOAH MONDAY – I AM SO EXCITED TO START THE WEEK but honestly it felt exactly like any of the other preceding days since the lockdown started. With nothing external to which to look forward it’s hard to summon up any extra Monday-related enthusiasm.

There’s not been a lot to report in terms of activity today. I’ve been working on my Patreon (more about this, soon!) so I had my first ever Zoom teleconference with a Patreon advisor in Berlin at 0930hrs. Last week when this was scheduled I was all – whenever you like, time makes no difference to me.

At 0330hrs last night when I was still awake, resizing images and wondering if anyone would even look at my Patreon page, I bitterly regretted the insouciance with which I arranged that meeting. Mornings are not my superpower, it is fair to say.

After pressing snooze many, many times, apparently in my sleep, at 9 o’clock I finally roused to myself into some kind of consciousness.

It is amazing what you can achieve given a deadline on the grooming front. In half an hour I managed to shower, wash my hair, put some make-up, give my hair a rough blow dry and find a dress that looks fine on my top half. (the bottom not so much.) At 9:30 on the dot I was dialling in to Zoom on my laptop.

The technology is fine, and I enjoyed that we got to show each other our dogs, but I definitely need a higher place to prop my laptop to avoid double chins and a delightful view up my nostrils.

I went and propped myself up on the pillows on my bed right after we finished the call to do some work on my ‘phone, and then didn’t wake up until one. Inevitably I got the sudden fear that my unusual daytime fatigue was the onset of something unspeakable. Of course when I counted up how many hours I slept the night before I realised I was just tired. I suspect we are going to become a nation of paranoid hypochondriacs when all this is over.

Later on, as the sun was setting, I mosied outside for the first time to put out the recycling, to find a large box on my doorstep – the DNA and gut microbiome analysis company Atlas Biomed had sent me a huge fruit gift basket, via Fruit 4 London. to keep me and my gut healthy over the coming weeks. Now that’s the kind of thoughtful PR gift behind which I can really get behind.

Fruit stashed indoors prior to my usual biohazard spray down, I headed up to Holly’s to intercept her Ocado order – she’s in full lockdown quarantine, and the delivery guys can, obviously, only leave outside on doorsteps in the current situation. There were panic stations when she rang at 1830 to say he was 30 minutes early. I grabbed the tiny furry despot and raced up there.

I followed up the grocery mission for Holly with a quick whizz around LA Food Market on Queens Crescent to pick up household supplies for A – immunocompromised, and currently holed up with three children under twelve, and running the European operations for a global concern, and a pitstop in my deserted underground lockup to offload six bags of stuff I won’t be needing over the coming months, and pick up some catering food I had stashed in there.

I’m presuming that’s allowed? Holly lives a block away from my lock-up and I was collecting my own food from it. It’s very difficult to know how to interpret all the rules and regulations re: activities these days.

After swinging by Hampstead to deliver A’s groceries to her doorstep, Lettice and I hotfooted it to Parliament Hill. Sunset is officially around 1930hrs at the moment, and this seems like an excellent time to do our daily exercise, clear of other users. I’m presuming children are at home being fed, and the Masters of the Universe runners seem to do their runs first thing in the morning so it’s safe to walk on the pathways.

We cruised along almost deserted woodland pathways, where it was still light enough to see and walk at 1950. (Although it’s very cold without direct sunlight.) I think this is something we may do again: the ability to take your exercise when you like is certainly one of the upsides of being a single household.

I would love to report that I returned home to eat a delicious home-cooked meal but, no. I had Quorn nuggets and French fries, cooked in my AirFryer, and served with lashings of ketchup. Bloody delicious they were too, especially as I ate them whilst watching MasterChef in bed.

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