My friend Angela recently posted this letter b on her Facebook. It’s been around on the Internets for a while and, whilst it is amusing, it hammers home its point about biblical objection to homosexuality elegantly, so I thought I’d  re-publish for the edification of those readers who have not yet come across it.

With the American elections coming up, I despair of this prurient obsession with other people’s sex lives, I really do. I find it utterly extraordinary, that in this modern era, that people do not accept that homosexuality is not a choice. It is an innate part of someone that has absolutely no bearing on their competence in any field whatsoever, or their moral compass for that matter.

NB Thanks to a reader comment this morning, I hadn’t realised that the letter’s cited author didn’t actually write it, no did the host of the radio show purported to have made the comment that sparked the letter actually make that comment, so I have edited this to reflect this knowledge, redacting all real names.

Here we go:

It has been said that homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22, and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following response to this was posted on the Internet. It’s funny, as well as quite informative:

Dear XXX

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God’s Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other elements of God’s Laws and how to follow them.

1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can’t I own Canadians?

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness – Lev.15: 19-24. The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord – Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?

6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination, Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don’t agree. Can you settle this? Are there ‘degrees’ of abomination?

7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room here?

8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? Lev.24:10-16. Couldn’t we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so I’m confident you can help.

Thank you again for reminding us that God’s word is eternal and unchanging.

Your adoring fan,

anonymous

P.S. (It would be a damn shame if we couldn’t own a Canadian.)

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

You May Also Like

15 comments

Reply

I love this. I think it’s part of this that’s featured in the very first episode of the West Wing. Love, love, love.

Reply

@Blonde: I really could read it over and over. I think I may have to learn it by heart. LLGxx

Reply

Love this; I like to throw these little excerpts out from time to time too!

Reply

Fantastic lunchtime reading/reminder.

Don’t get me started on their obsession with the rights of the unborn child. It’s archaic.

Reply

@rebecca@florencefinds: Personhood. It is completely BONKERS. As someone somewhere pointed out Paul Ryans’ rant on Personhood didn’t mention the words ‘mother’ or ‘woman’ once. LLGxx

Reply

@LLG: Don’t make me cry for my country. Some day s I want to bake cookies and take them to abortion providers but I don’t know if they’d eat them. So basically I need to save up and donate a big chunk of cash for the people that have to risk their lives every day for a woman’s freedom to decide what happens to her own body.

I love it here, but election season makes me so sad. Unborn children and corporations get the rights they want to take away from us ladies.

Reply

This is a great letter, but James Kauffman didn’t write it (as you can see on his University of Virginia page): http://people.virginia.edu/~jmk9t/. The author remains a mystery…

Reply

@Daisy: oh I AM annoyed with myself. I googled to check that he existed, but lazily didn’t go any further. I have edited the piece to reflect this. Thank you for pointing this out. LLGxx

Reply

@LLG:
Don’t be annoyed! Love your blog 🙂

Reply

West Wing fans will recognize where that comes from: http://youtu.be/DSXJzybEeJM

Reply

This is really brilliant! Highlights the total hypocrisy of many, many people who pick and choose which bits of religion they should follow and don’t comprehend that these books were written thousands of years ago! We have benefited much from advanced civilisation since then!! Thank you for sharing xxx

http://www.sacstyle.tumblr.com

Reply

Some of this I’d the same as an episode of The West Wing and I often think about it. I loved that you posted it and that the comments (so far) are completely in favour with your thoughts.

I don’t understand how we can be so forward thinking with some things and then so behind or stuck with others.

Reply

Oh, I love this! I don’t know how I have not come across it before. Things like this usually find me one way or another. Thank you, I am now going to spread it around a little further. Nothing I like better than making a point with a chuckle.

Reply

It reminds me of that wonderful scene in The West Wing, when the president, a Christian, basically shows how stupid the Bible – bashers are, and what dangerous nonsense Leviticus is. As an atheist, I despair at America – a country that put people on the Moon and has the highest number of Nobel -prize winning scientists, is still harbouring a huge percentage of all manner of religious fanatics.

Reply

Thank you xJ
and thank God for tenner ladies too
W M L O L

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.