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I’m sitting on the TGV from Lausanne to Paris. I can’t say it’s been a golden journey so far. With the torture of three dead electronic devices fresh in my memory from the 4.5hr journey on Friday, I tried to upgrade my ticket at Lausanne station so I could plug in my laptop during the journey.

Pas possible, c’est SNCF, the ticket desk grunted at me. Okay. I wheeled around and promptly fell over an overnight bag some moron had abandoned immediately behind me.

I’m afraid to say I had a colossal sense of humour failure when not one of the twenty or so people staring at me like a collective village idiot helped me get up, stop the contents of my handbag rolling towards oblivion or apologise for leaving the sodding bag abandoned in the middle of the ticket hall.

I shouted very VERY loudly in my best French that they should all be ashamed of themselves for not helping a traveller in extremis, for representing La Suisse in such a manner and that finally I’d like them all to consider how they would feel if no one helped them in a similar situation. (It’s astonishing how fluent my French is when I really get the bit between my teeth.) Childish, I know, but extremely satisfying. After all, my dignity was still sprawling across the floor, so I had nothing to lose.

I hobbled off, trying not to cry – I had walloped my knee hard on the tiled floor – to buy a restorative pain au chocolate for my breakfast. Only to discover of course that I had no Swiss Francs. (Buckets of Euros instead). Breakfast-less, I limped away to find my train.

Until Dijon I had a large, hairy man sleeping at a 45 degree sideways tilt over me, hogging both the armrest and my personal airspace, and from Dijon to Paris it appears that I shall be accompanied by a woman reading Eat, Pray, Love, who smells suspiciously like patchouli, whose jewellery tinkles every time she reads a page and who is sucking throat lozenges very loudly.

I have so earned that lunch that is waiting for me in Paris.

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19 comments

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Not only have you earned a delicious lunch, but a very large glass of wine. Your day and the week can only get better.

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@Domestic Princess: Agree 100%

The worst thing about travelling is often fellow travellers.

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Poor you! I am often staggered by the rudeness of people who don’t open doors/offer seats to the elderly/help people with suitcases up stairs in the tube. To watch as someone falls over and not lend a hand is just awful.
Wonderful to be able to tell them all off in perfect french, go you! Hope you have a lovely lunch!

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I hope you manage to have a good time when you arrive into Paris. I have just been pinning some places I’ve stayed over the years onto a board in Pinterest and the exercise has brought back lovely memories and caused much yearning to return to some of the beautiful places I’ve visited in Europe. I’d give my eye teeth to be heading to Paris for lunch right now. (Instead I’m sitting at my desk at 9.42pm, working, while I munch on dry biscuits – washed down with a glass of Cab Sauv – for dinner.) Enjoy your trip! Mx

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ah the Eat,Pray,Love crowd, we had a period when we got LOTS of them, J could identify them at 50 paces and would leg it, leaving me to deal with them 🙂 (nothing against actually reading the bk – although not my kinda thing, but there is a ‘type’ that travels with it and it trying to re-enact it )

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Facing a similar situation a few days ago myself
It always feels better to tell inconsiderate idiots to
F-off (in a classy elegant manner)

Well played.

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You have so earned your lunch!
Nothing worse than bad travel company!

I have not ben commenting earlier, but I have followed your blog for about a year and I must say that it is one of my favourite blogs! You tell about the fashion industry in the most interesting way and your recepies are really good 🙂

I saw that you had a Rosacea outbreak, could you tell me a bit about what you use for rosacea? I have it myself and find it hard to find something that works. At the moment I use md formulations Critical Care Calming Gel and can recommend that, but would like to have some options 🙂

Have a nice journey (if possible 🙂

asta

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Feeling a bit bad now for having read ‘Eat Pray Love’. Poor you with those Geneva idiots, it is staggering how rude people can be. At Clapham Junction last week a girl fell off the train and down between the platform and the train (horror) she was ok but people were ready to jump over her to get on/off their train and on with their commute.

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>> Until Dijon I had a large, hairy man sleeping at a 45 degree sideways tilt over me, hogging both the armrest and my personal airspace <<<

oooo, you need to learn the art of passive-aggressive public transport travelling. While staring ahead, or absorbed in your book (in other words, apparently taking no direct notice at all of the offender next to you), you shift and nudge and push (accidentally on purpose as you rearrange your coat or move your bag) so you make very clear what is your territory.

My attitude: If you get in my space when I am travelling I am the seat neighbour from hell. Keep in your own space & I am delightful. I don't fidget, talk incessantly, or smell. Unless of course you make a noise in the Quiet Coach. But then you deserve anything you get.

Hope you had a lovely lunch!! With lots of nice cheese and wine.

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Really reminds me that I need to b practicing my language skills… Well done by keeping your French fluent enough to hopefully embarrass a few of the onlookers!

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Gosh, it sounds like a horrible trip. Reminds me of a time when a psychotic escapee from a mental institution punched me without any provocation (I was chatting with a cab driver) and I went down in a heap. Not one of the 50 who were busy staring at me offered to help.

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