It’s not been a good week. Bloody Mummy LLG. She made me stand around in the cold whilst she got her photo taken for that Grazia. How come she gets her hair done, & I don’t get as much as a brush through my coat? And then they go and shoot me from behind. What about MY dignity? Huh?
She’s been in my bad books for a while now. She swans off around the world, staying in smart hotels all la di da. Never thinks that I might like a little break, does she? Beverly Hills Hotel, Ritz Carlton San Francisco, Dean Street Townhouse, Hoxton Hotel...The Halkin…she calls up Mummy lil’sis on that Skype machine from wherever she is staying and is all ooh hello Posetta wave a paw at Mummy…pah…never brings me home so much as a biscuit.
Still I think the penny might have dropped that I was overdue some hotel action because when Mummy Lil’sis was in Florida at New Year, Mummy LLG and Aunty Aurora suddenly whisked me into the car along with my special smelly fleecy blanket and told me we were spending the night at the very lovely Malmaison Oxford hotel.
Halle-bloody-lujah. About flippin’ time.
When we arrived, I got all that VIP treatment you see on the telly. Put that in your pipe Mummy LLG & smoke it. No one wanted to stroke YOUR hair. It was all about ME ME ME. I tell you, I could get used to that kind of treatment. I was so overjoyed I had to do a victory roll in my bed once we got up to our my room :
God I’m cute.
Then I decided to take stock of my surroundings. Nice bed if you are into that sort of thing. But I had my eye on something else.
Now that’s what I call impressive: a luxury dog bed AND a bowl supplied by the hotel. Don’t get many of them to the pound. It smelt okay.
But warranted further investigation:
There was a corner I wasn’t quite sure about:
But, all in all, I approved.
Then we went downstairs to have a look at the garden. Mummy LLG told me the hotel was in the old Oxford Jail, and this was the prisoner’s exercise ground. Hurumph. If it was an exercise ground where were the bunny rabbits for me to chase then? I looked & looked but there were none to be found. Bloody Mummy LLG. Always telling me porkies.
Mummy LLG pointed out her room. Excuse ME. I believe it is MY room which she stayed in:
But I was distracted by the stairs up to reception. Hmm discrimination I call it. Those steps aren’t designed for 4″ legs. Mummy LLG had to carry me up. The humiliation.
We went to bed early & slept like logs under the very nice duvet until the perfectly reasonable hour of 5 o’clock. Mummy LLG seemed very huffy when I jumped on her head to make sure she was awake.
After breakfast, we checked out the rabbit-free garden one more time,
and then it was home time.
Mummy LLG disappeared for a while into this shop next door to the hotel. I’ve got no idea what she was doing in there.
And then it was back home to reality. Wonder where we’ll go next?
(Ed: You wake me up again at 5am for a wee & you’re going nowhere Miss Posetta)
For non-canine future guests, here‘s a video blog I shot at the hotel.
Posetta Baddog & her two humans were guests of The Malmaison for one night, which included complimentary dinner, bed & breakfast.