Out of both politeness and a sense of adventure, I’ve trained myself to eat most of the ingredients I disliked growing up. A lot of this has to do with my palate becoming more sophisticated as I got older: I wouldn’t touch lettuce (I used to flush it down the loo), peas or olive oil until I was in my late teens but now cannot imagine life without them.

Some foods I just didn’t know about. I gave away chips (French fries) at school dinner until I was maybe ten: because we had never had them at home, I presumed I didn’t like them. Others I just refused to try: mayonnaise, for example, until I was 18, then I couldn’t believe what I had been missing. I didn’t think I liked spinach or squashes (ruined by school dinners) or creme patissiere until my late twenties. Now I love them.

On the other hand, blue cheese, okra, parsnips, mashed swede, pears and aubergines (eggplant) which all used to be on my personal Index will get eaten if put in front of me, but I certainly would never choose to eat them.

However there are some foods I cannot eat without having a gag reflex. So, just for my personal amusement, here are the foods I will not, under any circumstance, contemplate putting in my mouth:

A glass of milk: YUK. I vividly remember the taste of the milk, in those little ice cold glass 1/3rd pint bottles, that we were forced to suck up through blue straws at Primary School. Hot milk is even worse: remember the skin that used to form on top? I’m giving myself chills just thinking about it.

My utter horror of milk doesn’t extend to yoghurt, cheese or cream (mmm) or, indeed, to milk as an ingredient (I’ll whip up a nice Béchamel any day), but it does include the following horrors:

Rice pudding & semolina: these are milky puddings with the texture of wallpaper paste. What’s to like?
Porridge: more milky goop. Never forgiven my mother for feeding me this for my fifth birthday breakfast. I still remember the feeling of disbelief that she would feed me this pap on my birthday.
Bird’s Custard: Slimy, smelly, milky. Lil’sis can suck this up by the bucketload, sprinkled with hundreds and thousands. But then she’s bats.
White chocolate: A pointless exercise. Creamy, milky, melty goop; usually cheap & nasty so it leaves an oily, vegetal film in the mouth. This stuff is many things but to call it chocolate is a sacrilege

Green (bell) peppers: Merely an unripe red pepper. Sour and nasty.
Tapioca: Again, it’s the milky, frogspawn-y texture thing.
Licorice & aniseed: In the same camp as far as I am concerned. Let’s add Raki, Pernod, Anisette & Ricard in there, and Pontefract cakes too whilst we’re at it.
Cooked bananas: I blame my mother’s banana mousse for putting me permanently off the pervasive taste of blended or cooked bananas. I shudder still at the memory.
Desiccated coconut. Eurgh. The hideous, slightly giving, sawdust texture. I bear this a grudge as I refused to eat coconut milk based curries for years, not realising that desiccated coconut was a filthy invention with no relation to coconut milk.
Salad Cream, margarine, Miracle Whip or Dream Topping/Whip: 4 aberrations that offend every sensibility. What? You’d rather eat a cocktail of artificial gunk than a judicious amount of mayonnaise, butter or cream? Bonkers.
Jackfruit: a bit rarified this but, believe me, I’ve never forgotten the rancid taste & slippery, silky fruit
Marzipan: this upsets me as I should like this. I adore almonds & almond essence, but the texture…
Chestnuts: It’s a texture thing again. That mealy thing chestnuts have got going on? Eurgh.
Honey & Dates: Whilst I eat fruit continually, I have come to the conclusion that I do not like dense naturally super sweet things. And as for that weird papery/sticky/oozy thing with dates…

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17 comments

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Bizarre how we hate so many of the same foods….I can't stand the smell of milk (though, like you, I don't mind milk products/milk as an ingredient in food), but tapioca, jackfruit, cooked bananas/banana chips and coconuts are, weirdly enough, things that often get used in Kerala cuisine and seeing as I had relatives there, I had no way to avoid eating the stuff without massively offending someone. Ugh.

I'm with you on dates too (no discernible taste, horrid sticky texture) and honey. And YES on marzipan…the fun of almonds is the crunchiness, and once you change them to marchpane it completely goes. And white chocolate is an abomination, worse since in India, it often tastes strongly of milk.

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I would describe myself with food the same way. I agree with your list except for green bell peppers… they are my favorite for pasta dishes or stir fries.

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Oh, the skin on hot milk! Blechhh. (And thank you Des, for the Spanish word for it!)

I do love Ricard, though, and chestnuts…

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My mother hails from Aberdeen, Scotland, where the general consensus on cooking (as far as I can tell from the evidence of dearest mama's dinners) is that if you can't boil it, it's not worth eating. I remember with acute vividity the moment she put one evening's meal on the table in front of my brother, sister and myself as we all recoiled in horror. A whole cow's tongue, suitably boiled to an odd purplish brown colour and devoid of any vegetables or sauces that would somehow disguise its pungent odour or mask its origin. I was perhaps ten years old at the time.

I empathise with your intermittent experiences of maternal errors in judgement but feel that I still wear the crown supreme for general consumption suffering stakes! By all accounts your mother more than makes up for the occasional culinary faux pas if the recipes you have posted over the last few weeks are anything to go by. They all looked delicious! And not a bovine appendage in sight!

Miss Media
http://missmediaandtheredcurtain.blogspot.com/

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Is Jackfruit like Sharon Fruit – I bought a big bag of Sharon Fruit once and greedily ate them til it occured to me it was like slivers of offal slipping down my throat that reminded me of the brain scene from hannibal…..I've never touched one since. I WISH I liked Olives….but I just can't. I'm so envious of those who sip Martinis and eat huge glossy black olives and I just can't do it – I have SO tried! X

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Most of those I agree with… although I do love rice pudding. Made properly (or the Nigella way with tons of lemon and cream) so it tastes of rice not wallpaper paste.

I still cannot eat liver although I am getting there with most other foods I disliked as a little one.

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I agree with you on all except porridge (I like it made with a 'tiny weeny bit of water and maple surup, then it isn't milky)

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