It has been forcefully pointed out to me that the reason that so many of my dates do not work out is because I am dating guys who have approached me, rather than the other way round. I trot off to the dates intrigued but not excited and with little or no expectation of anything clicking. After all, it is their interest which is driving the date, not my own, so it’s no surprise that I feel little or no investment in the process and am usually disappointed romantically, however much I enjoy their company.

I, like most women on-line dating, receive so many emails that it’s just simpler to engage with the already interested. In addition, I very rarely find profiles when I browse that interest me and, if I were to be brutally honest, the very, very few men I have reached out to have not got back to me bar one or two. So, I take the passive route.

Anyway, browsing away on-line for odd usernames for a previous blog post whilst watching CSI the other night, a photo jumped out at me. Good looking man, witty, engaging profile, compatible job, right age and lots of similar interests. This probably happens once every two months. So I emailed him, with absolutely no expectation of hearing from him.

And then he emailed me back. So far, so good: can spell, is funny, likes jumping around at gigs. Still, although I pretty much like what I’ve seen so far, I am finding it hard to summon up any enthusiasm. I think I am just so jaded by dating men who don’t interest me that the whole process has lost its sparkle.

But I am trying hard to engage.The bar he has suggested for our date tonight is a particular favourite, and I like Sunday evening as there’s no pressure to truss myself up like a Christmas turkey. My main dilemma right now is trivial in the extreme: 90% of my clothing is in storage so outfit choices are limited. I’ll prob wear my leather biker jacket with a little dress & Wolfords underneath and a huge knitted cashmere scarf wrapped over all.

But: shoes? Heels feel over the top (I only have leopard print, platform strappy suede things, suede & patent ankle boots (maybe?) or Azagury suede courts (too grown up) and flats are either MBTs (yeah, right), Minnetonka moccasins (def not ), ballerines (too fey), or 3cm heel thigh high black suede boots which I adore but maybe a little risqué for a Sunday night…(they did go down EXTREMELY well on a date last week tho). Hmmm. Decisions, decisions.

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Thank you internets. Janet was right: ankle boots perfect for Sunday night date. LLGxx


I love your ankle boots. they are very stylish, while not being to risque. However, the tall 3cm heel boots sound nice also – and not to risque if you are wearing black opaque tights. I’d say pick one of those two – choose the one that looks best with the rest of your outfit:)


ps. oops. i was too late on my reply:)


Yep, love ankle boots for Sunday. Can’t wait to hear (read!) how it went!


Wear easy, beautiful, comfortable clothing. Nothing that’s going to intimidate him. You’ll be fine. And don’t forget, your smile is your winning accessory. 🙂


Hmm, maybe I should follow your example and approach men who interest me more often instead of waiting to be approached. Good luck!

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