I have a good figure, but it’s not normal for the industry in which I have chosen to work. I am a woman and I love my not particularly generous curves. I am 5’6”, weigh 10,5 (145lbs), have great legs and wear a UK12 (US8) on a good day. I also have very, very large breasts (I’m not exaggerating –they’re a 32 Double G) and they are pretty damn fine: high, round and just how they should be. The poster model for big breasts. Until I clothe them. Or maybe that should read attempt to clothe them.
I dress for my figure, not for my taste. I do not, by any stretch of the imagination, wear the clothes I would choose if I could fit my breasts into them. I can’t wear, in no particular order: shirts, polo or turtle necks, tight T shirts, any light coloured tops, crew necks, batwing or dolman sleeves, strapless numbers, bikinis, halter necks, vest tops, waistcoats (vests), suit jackets, trench coats, sleeveless, braces (suspenders) shoestring straps, busy prints, corsets, tight or high waists, anything tucked in, anything cropped, sequinned embellished or with writing on it, striped tops, maxi dresses, elasticated tops, dungarees (overalls), pinafores (jumpers), bias cut, wrap or slip dresses, unboned bras, anything with seaming on the bodice or 99% of most designer collections.
I do have friends with large chests who can wear some of the above, but I was blessed with high breasts that practically start under my collarbone. This means I look like a German barmaid, brimming with good cheer in the most demure of outfits. I have nothing against a bit of cleavage but I prefer men to talk to my face not my chest. And you try being taken seriously if your chest resembles two puppies wriggling in a sack. Most of all I wish someone would produce tops I could wear. I really only ever wear sweaters or done up cardigans as nothing, and I mean nothing, else fits.
On the other hand shopping is paradoxically easy for me. I know, if I am lucky, that there may be one, possible two pieces in an entire store that might work on me. I am not faced with a cornucopia of choice or complicated fiscal decisions. There just isn’t anything out there on which I can spend my money,
Most of all, I wish fashion designers & editors would stop trying to pretend that the female figure is mutable. Lucinda Chambers (fashion director of British Vague) deserves to be pilloried for telling big breasted women to buy an M&S minimiser bra this season if they want to be fashionable. What is she going to suggest next? Foot binding because small feet are suddenly fashionable?
It is a fucking stupid pose to tell women that their particular figure is fashionable one season, only to recant the next. Male designers should accept that women come in sizes other than clones of homo-erotic boys. And editors should stop colluding with them.
I’m not arguing that high fashion editorials shouldn’t exist: they are there to inspire, to provide escapism, but in the real world we need fashion for everyday, fashion we can actually wear. I am fed up with being unable to dress myself.
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*Aplauds* So true. And I love your writing style.….the “two puppies wriggling in a sack” part made me laughing out loud.
Brilliant! I did laugh at your rant against British VAGUE — so funny. And the homo erotica stuff again to the point.
I spend many days a week trying to style women who need clothes to work for them not against them. Most cuts and retailing is aimed at a mythical creature or a coke addict.
Brilliant! I did laugh at your rant against British VAGUE — so funny. And the homo erotica stuff again to the point.
I spend many days a week trying to style women who need clothes to work for them not against them. Most cuts and retailing is aimed at a mythical creature or a coke addict.
Brilliant! I did laugh at your rant against British VAGUE — so funny. And the homo erotica stuff again to the point.
I spend many days a week trying to style women who need clothes to work for them not against them. Most cuts and retailing is aimed at a mythical creature or a coke addict.
Brilliant! I did laugh at your rant against British VAGUE — so funny. And the homo erotica stuff again to the point.
I spend many days a week trying to style women who need clothes to work for them not against them. Most cuts and retailing is aimed at a mythical creature or a coke addict.
Brilliant! I did laugh at your rant against British VAGUE — so funny. And the homo erotica stuff again to the point.
I spend many days a week trying to style women who need clothes to work for them not against them. Most cuts and retailing is aimed at a mythical creature or a coke addict.
Brilliant! I did laugh at your rant against British VAGUE — so funny. And the homo erotica stuff again to the point.
I spend many days a week trying to style women who need clothes to work for them not against them. Most cuts and retailing is aimed at a mythical creature or a coke addict.
I believe it was Nietsche who said; “Phwoarr! Get em out luv!”. I think perhaps you should write to Vogue to suggest that the coming fashion is a natty little hat, so the editrix might consider taking a hammer to her head.
TransAtlantichug, tBx
Bravo. I agree and applaud your honesty. My co-worker and I were just discussing how most buxom women cover up all the time so folks really don’t even know that they’re buxom. I happen to be hippy and have a pretty ample backside for my size 6 frame (5’7″, 145 lbs). Like you, I love my shape (although I can stand to do a few sit-ups) but I realize that even though I have a slim frame, there are clothes I simply cannot wear because of my hips. Designers and editors who pretend that all women are shaped like little boys are lame!
Bravo! I don’t share your body type but I think the key thing is to accept diversity in shape…
Thing is, you sound like you have the figure that a boy would find ideal. Brava for liking and accepting your figure — magazines do go too far. Part of the reason I’m definitely in approval of the blogging world — a place where women of all different shapes and sizes (including skinny, curvy, muscly, round etc) can post if they want.
Whilst I can’t empathise SPECIFICALLY with the breast thing (my top half is awfully skinny and will never be any different, regardless of how much I weigh), I can with the difficulties buying things. I’ve got a fairly small waist with fairly large hips (28 inch waist, 38 inch hips) and massively long legs — so whilst there’s less choice for trousers, paradoxically it does make it a lot easier to buy them since I’m so limited by leg length!
That is actually shocking that someone in a position of relative fashion power advised to go and buy a minimiser bra. Let’s face it, the average bra size in the UK is not a 30A, it’s at least a 36C/34D.
Massive amounts of respect for this intelligent post.
Word!
I too am blessed/burdened with a similar figure. Dressing is a daily struggle: I grapple with how to tread a fine line between not looking like a spinning top and not looking frumpy/mumsy. I also work as a TV presenter — so it really matters!
Probably the worst thing about being boobally blessed is that people think it’s acceptable to comment on your puppies and advise you on how to dress, according to the Trinny and Susannah principles.
I mean I wouldn’t comment on someone who was FLAT CHESTED!
Rant over.
Amen! Although I lost a size after having two kids, I’m still a D (and never got any smaller on top even at 5’8″ and 120lbs, which I’m decidedly NOT right now), and have a terrible time finding tops that don’t emphasize my size OR look frumpy. And I envy those flat-chested women who can wear smock dresses, wrap-front anything, and halter tops…*sigh*
Very well said! I was so mad about this quote from the vogue woman! I am pretty tired of people telling other people what to do. That is so missing the point of what fashion and style mean to me. Just live and let live!
Well said.
The longer I spend around people in the fashion industry the more I’m beginning to understand that they are all (well mainly) suckered into a mindset that says ‘this is fashion, that’s the way it’s done’.
There seems to be this total belief that it therefore can’t or shouldn’t be done any other way. Totally self-perpetuating.
Oh, this post made me so happy! I have similar problems with clothes, and couldn’t agree more about minimizer bras. I wore them in high school, for obvious social reasons, but I have shunned them since becoming an adult.
Thanks for writing such a great blog, btw!
Thanks for this great post, LLG. I have rather large breasts for my frame — I’m narrow but my tits are, shall we say, ample. Until recently, I don’t think anyone was talking about the challenges of dressing breasts fashionably. Because, let’s face it, in the fash mags when they talk about curvy they’re referring to women who wear a 34C. And from what I’m seeing on the street / reading on a few blogs lately, your average woman is not a 34C.
I love that you are so pleased with your chest — I have a feeling (from experience) that the boys are too!
It’s nice to hear about a woman who’s comfortable with herself. And f&$k minimizers! I love Freya, Fantasie, Panache among others (and I’ve written about lingerie extensively on my blog — as I consider it both a fun topic and a public service).
Power to the puppies! K
Ooh well said. I’m ‘lucky’ enough to have a boyish figure because that means I can wear the androgynous looks I like but sometimes I wonder if it’s the other way round and that the reason I go for tomboy chic is because it suits my shape. It always seems that designers are missing a trick by only designing for one body type. And surely they’d make twice as much money if they designed clothes beyond a size 14 (US 18)?
Can you not wear those styles because of the way they are fitted and sized, or because of the style itself? Perhaps a good tailor could help?
I also wonder what you think about Anna Wintour’s comments in the “shape” issue — a bit of a joke in my opinion!
Let me add to the chorus… great post.
Like you, shopping can be “easy” for me, because I know that in most high street shops there will be a very limited number of things that fit, in terms of dresses, trousers, skirts and shoes (I have size 42 feet!). But it is so demoralising to feel like an elephant all the time because I am not the “right” size for fashion. I’m model tall (almost, at 5 ft 11), but with — god forbid — hips, bottom and thighs.
Now LLG, given your position in the fashion industry, what are you doing to help us all with this issue?!
I totally agree.
On the other hand, I really like your blog! You write about interesting stuff and have a entertaining and readable language and I am really jealous, because you are living in the best place in the whole world.
Keep doing your thing, plz!
I suppose I, with my negative cup size, could wear cut-off sequinned tops, but then again I’d be arrested and held without bail or cast in a postmodern version of “Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?”
I empathize with you, LLG, because one of my dearest friends has exactly the same dimensions, except that she is 5′ 2″ tall. There IS nothing to wear; we’ve shopped and shopped and everything seems designed to look lurid on all but the small-chested. It’s amazing how quickly a simple, long-sleeved T turns into a siren’s call and how quickly the ships at sea respond with foaming whitecaps.
Editors are not arbiters, much as they would like to think otherwise. What a dim-witted remark from Lucinda, who obviously was never mistaken for a West Country ploughman’s daughter.
Sorry not to have added my 10c by now but you know me!
I concur as you know being a 32F/G myself and how annoying it can be. I do the other things and hide the puppies as much as possible. Fashion in general does not help matters in any way.
Great post my dear!
Even my relatively modest 34Bs looked weird in certain things, so I can’t even imagine how annoying you must find it. Sometimes I actually wonder if having breasts of any size at all is a crime against fashion (the way Lucinda Chambers tells it, that seems to be the case). I don’t have the boob problem, but being a hippy girl with a thinner upper half (I’m a classix pear) also makes shopping an utter b****. It’s just so tiring sometimes..so yay for just being ok (or somewhat ok) with your body shape!
i really do feel your pain!
as i’m a UK8 right now i’m finding i can wear more stuff, but i am also WAY above average in that department and it is a huge restriction on what i can wear.
i don’t notice so much in the winter but when spring/summer comes round it is so depressing.
to look at me you wouldn’t really know i’m so top-heavy but this is due to years of practice dressing my shape to create this effect.
and minimizers do not work anyway. i’ve tried!
I can only sympathise with your problems. I have just spent another weekend fruitlessly trying to find tops that fit my 32E, 5’6” size 12. It is summer here and the shops are packed with floaty dresses, strappy tops tailored linen and low cut t-shirts. What really annoys me is that all the “High Street” department stores are now carrying bras that go to at least my size yet none of them make tops to accommodate my curvy bust instead they presume that I will buy a size 18 which hangs from my bust as if waiting for the pregnancy bump to fill it! Thankfully, I have discovered “Bravissimo” http://www.bravissimo.com/ where a 12 super-curvey just about fits. They may not be able to help you but it may be worth a look on their website as they do mail order.
Ugh. I do sympathize. I have many fit issues but D cups seem to be the biggest of them. Weight loss make it worse as everything else gets much smaller but not them. frequently can’t get things to button over them. Despite the fact that size charts say that my waist is proportionately bigger often i’ll try on a dress to find it tight on the top and hanging everywhere else.
Of course instead of making things that just fit around them — cover them is the general fashion advice.
I am reading your backlog, since your posts are really entertaining. I can feel your problem. I am pear shaped and not only by fat deposits, but by bone structure. My hipbone is wide and nowadays amply covered. I had one sale woman suggest liposuction to me to fit into her pants.
I also have to dress for my figure. I like kimonostyle, minimalistic, Japanese, deconstructivistic fashion, which only looks good if you have no hips and no breasts.
I had to say goodby to that and dress my figure, best done fifties style which I think slightly boring, but works.
My figure is one of the reasons I sew. A-line skirts are easy to make and I can adjust the 2 sizes difference from waist to hip.
And I can make the style less boring. Since I don’t fit in the fashionable lower sizes and I don’t fit in the fashionable (there are actually some) plus sizes, I am stuck in the trench between these two, this is the only way not to walk around in dowdy clothes.
I know this is an old post but had to comment.
I am 5’5″, usually a UK 12 — 14 (currently losing baby weight so a 16). I am usually a 36H or HH (went up to a J when pregnant). I loathe clothes shopping because of my boobs. Nothing fits, either my bra is visible or I look like a serving wench.
I often feel mumsy and frumpy when I’d just like to be able to follow a few trends without looking twice the size I actually am.
I too am fed up with being unable to dress myself. I just want to feel good and not wish I were Kate Moss but it seems to be too much to ask these days.
I’m a UK size 6/8 but with a 28F cup size. I find wearing baggier, trapeze-style tops with slim fitting skirts or trousers works for me. As another commenter mentioned, things can get tricky when summer comes around. No camisole straps for me.
What really frustrates me is the lack of decent bras available for bigger-breasted women, or women with a cup size that is a fair bit larger than their back size. It is impossibe to find well-fitting, young-looking, beautiful or fun bras in my size. For me, it’s a toss up between wearing ugly 28Fs or poorly fitting 30Es from the few lingerie designers that sell these.
What really frustrates me is that I don’t think my size is really that rare. We are all getting bigger on top and the average sizes stocked in the shops really don’t reflect the average sizes of women today. It’s all about making as small a number of sizes as possible and flogging them to as many shoppers they can. One size does not fit all, especially in the breast department.
with all due respect, the easist way to solve this problem is to have breast reduction surgery. I did it. i am 5′ tall, went from a 38 EE to 34/36 C and have never regretted it.
I know this is an older post, but I felt I just had to comment. The “large breast dilemma” has been the number one reason that dictates my style. I am 5’4, 125lbs narrow hips with 34E breasts. For the most part, I have given up on new ready to wear clothing. I usually wear vintage and design my own clothing. I knew I was in trouble when I found a Marc Jacobs dress I just loved in a size 12 that was too small for my chest while the rest of it looked like a tent. My biggest gripe was jackets. Even if I did find one that fit my chest, the shoulders and armscye would be so off, I couldn’t even tailor it without it looking like a butcher job. I solved this by making my own blocks and designing the jackets myself. As for the variety of styles I can wear, it has improved due to my new blocks. Additionally, I have saved loads of cash. Used Bernina machine+patternmaking/construction classes+supplies= $600. Clothing that fits= Priceless.
So true. Especially for teenagaers (like me). Fashion designers don’t seem to accept that some people develop before 20.
Hear hear! It’s really stupid to have “fashionable body types” — it’s not like we can change body type season to season, morons. Unless you are willing to go under the knife, which I’m sorry, I am not going to do (hear that, Anonymous? not all of us are willing to consider plastic surgery as “the solution” for our fashion dilemmas)
And the minimizer? Please. How is wearing a grandma bra-looking contraption that is akin to the super-tight corset of the Marie Antoinette era the only way to be fashionable?
Just found this during a rummage in some of your archives and was wondering if you could do a post with pictures of some of the things you do wear that flatter your shape? Since there are a lot of us in the same boat … also any shops that you have luck in!! I’d particularly be grateful if you could give advice on dressing smartly for your shape — tunics et al with lots of leg aren’t really appropriate for some working wardrobes…
Currently suffering to outfit myself for work since nothing on the high street appears to sell a skirt or trouser that isn’t high waisted — nightmare!